I’m watching the sixth video (dated 1/3/21) on Leap Day, 2024, which also happens to be my sister Suzanne’s birthday. HBD, Suzanne! I’m also recalling that at the beginning of these posts, I said I wasn’t going to worry about making them fully realized essays, but then I think that’s exactly what I ended up doing for the most part. Looking for a thread, a theme, a motif I could use to anchor a story about my mother’s life and connect it to my own. It’s a natural instinct for writers who dwell in memoir, I think. With these last videos, though, I’m struggling to synthesize or make sense of what I’m learning. I feel anxious and antsy. I wonder if it’s because I’m aware that I’m coming to the end of viewing them. Is it a protective, stalling measure meant to keep her alive on screen with me a while longer?
❤️